Can you not tolerate your children growing into an adult?
As a parent, your instant reaction is No! Not at all. Your response is entirely logical and the most expected one!
However, we know that humans are more emotional than logical. Attachment comes to us naturally whereas detachment needs to be practised consciously.
Growing into an adult is not a task accomplished in one day. It is a process. And that process involves a lot of trial and error, decision making and taking responsibility.
As parents, we want predictable success, safety and security for our children. These are two entirely different goals.
We cannot stop ourselves from meddling with their choices since our internal goals contradict, and we get confused about our needs.
We want them to become adults, but we will not let them be free to make choices or face the consequences.
I remember a girl who was made to work very hard by her parents to secure a reputed college seat. However, they got a management seat, spending 7L before the results were out. I am presently handling two young women forced into marriage, now in the process of getting a divorce. It is not entirely the parent’s fault, but the path to hell is paved with extremely good intentions.
Jayamalini Venkat.
